If there’s one thing I love, it hyper-inflated analysis of the deep philosophical significance of pop culture. And that’s why I adore this piece on Jim Carrey, which opens thusly:

In the year 2038, when we’re all living out of corroded Kia Sportages, beneath an ozone layer so threadbare you can toast a slice of bread simply by hanging it out the window, scavengers will make a discovery. In the basement of a ruined midwestern mall they will find, miraculously preserved, a fresco depicting the totemic movie scenes of Jim Carrey: Carrey as Truman Burbank in The Truman Show, standing in a private elevator shaft of rainfall on an otherwise dry beach; as Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar, being attacked by the pen in his own hand; as Charlie Baileygates, the schizophrenic highway patrolman of Me, Myself & Irene, strangling an enormous cow; as Bruce Almighty’s Bruce Nolan, with the power of God in his index finger, causing fire hydrants to pop and the skirts of desirable women to billow up around their waists; and as Ace Ventura, bent over, hands on rump, ventriloquizing through parted butt cheeks. After rubbing at the wall with ragged sleeves, the discoverers will fall back in awe. And the voice of the tribal priest will be heard, apostrophizing this huge graffito. “Oh, modern man,” he will say, in a voice rich with pity. “How lonely you were, and how divided. And how you loved to talk out of your ass.”

Hee hee! I love it.

Today I got spam advertising a series of very nice apartments in Ulaanbaatar. I have to ask myself: how many people are really interested in moving to Outer Mongolia? I am, obviously, but I think that the real market for such a thing would be rather small.

  1. Over 2000 people have now climbed J.S. Bangs, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.
  2. People used to believe that dressing their male children as J.S. Bangs would protect them from evil spirits.
  3. Baby swans are called J.S. Bangs.
  4. Forty percent of the world’s almonds and twenty percent of the world’s peanuts are used in the manufacture of J.S. Bangs.
  5. J.S. Bangs, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
  6. The international dialling code for J.S. Bangs is 672.
  7. Peanuts and J.S. Bangs are beans!
  8. If you chew gum while peeling J.S. Bangs then it will stop you from crying.
  9. In Japan it is considered rude to talk with J.S. Bangs in your mouth!
  10. New Zealand was the first place to allow J.S. Bangs to vote.

Find out more facts about yourself at here.